Friday, November 26, 2010

Return to Innsmouth



“During the winter of 1927-28 officials of the Federal government made a strange and secret investigation of certain conditions in the ancient Massachusetts seaport of Innsmouth. The public first learned of it in February, when a vast series of raids and arrests occurred, followed by the deliberate burning and dynamiting - under suitable precautions - of an enormous number of crumbling, worm-eaten, and supposedly empty houses along the abandoned waterfront. Uninquiring souls let this occurrence pass as one of the major clashes in a spasmodic war on liquor.

“Keener news-followers, however, wondered at the prodigious number of arrests, the abnormally large force of men used in making them, and the secrecy surrounding the disposal of the prisoners. No trials, or even definite charges were reported; nor were any of the captives seen thereafter in theregular gaols of the nation. There were vague statements about disease and concentration camps, and later about dispersal in various naval and military prisons, but nothing positive ever developed. Innsmouth itself was left almost depopulated…”

--From “The Shadow Over Innsmouth” by H.P. Lovecraft



Agent Fred Mathis knows he is being watched.

You would not suspect this from the way he acts: He stares straight ahead and concentrates on the sound his shoes make as he walks down the dark street. He thinks about the soles of those shoes and how thin they are. He ignores the sixth sense that shoots adrenaline spikes outward to his scalp; he ignores the ice sheath on the back of his neck. He fingers the trigger on his FBI- issue Colt 1911. He remembers that his icebox is empty and he will need to buy something for dinner on his way home.

Fred is in the abandoned port town of Innsmouth searching for its latest victim--not for the body, since everyone at the bureau knows "The Things" there never leave bodies behind. No, he is searching for the car, for clothes, for a wallet or purse. His partner, Cecil Boyle, has taken wharf detail and Fred is glad of it. However sure he is that something watches his every move from the black, gaping mouths of these dilapidated buildings, Fred cannot stand to be next to the water here—with its odor of rotting wharf and the churning murk of sea lapping near his feet.

If you could see Fred Mathis from the vantage point of The Thing that is watching him, you would see a gray-haired, medium-built man in his late-60s, leaning forward as he plods ahead, foot after foot. You’d see his threadbare grey suit, his new stylish hat that doesn’t match. You’d see a weary, unshaven face, mild but impenetrable.


From this vantage point you probably wouldn’t see that Fred Mathis is invisible. Not invisible in the literal sense, of course. But years of listening and barely talking, of slipping into rooms unnoticed, of being passed over and looked through by his superiors, have all served to create an under-the-radar presence in him, a cloak of inconsequence that makes everyone ignore, underestimate and, finally, forget he is there. His late wife Adeline was the only one who ever really saw him, and now that she is gone he feels insubstantial and unanchored, as if at any moment, if he willed it, he could disintegrate. He likes this feeling. It is freedom, he thinks, to be light, to be invisible.

Fred turns a corner and sees an abandoned car that is neither rusted nor in an obvious state of disrepair. He opens the unlocked door and begins to search the pockets of a coat that had been left on the passenger seat.

Boyle trots up the street toward Fred. "You find it?" he shouts.

"Yup" says Fred, examining the flowery cursive lettering on one of the business cards he found.

For a moment, Fred imagines how this man--this Mister Rodger Barnes, this traveling salesman with the fancy business cards--must have taken a wrong exit off the highway and become lost on those dark winding back ways between Newburyport and Arkham. He imagines how he would have driven slowly down the main road into town hoping to find someone who could give him directions, gas, coffee.

"Poor bastard," Fred mumbles as he puts the card in his pocket.

"Find the keys?”

“Nope,” says Fred.

Well, reckon I'll hot wire the car then," Boyle says.

Fred's face softens as he watches him go to work. Cecil Boyle is a severely freckled redhead just shy of 25, new to the bureau--stuck with the partner who's on his way out, stuck with the worst assignment, the one everyone pretends doesn't exist. Boyle has found the one small part of these missions that is in any way bearable, and he beams when in a few seconds, he has managed to start the engine.

Fred looks briefly around the car for other personal effects, sees nothing and bends over to dislodge a large mossy brick from the road that will hold down the gas pedal. After some pushing and maneuvering of the car, they watch as it drives itself into the bay, floats for a few minutes, then submerges.

That's seven of them now, Fred thinks, right before a loud rotting-wood crack emanating from a nearby building startles them both.

"What's keeping us here?" Boyle asks as he draws his gun. His long strides threaten to break out into a run as he heads to where they parked their car.

They are silent on their drive back to their bureau office in Arkham. Fred has never been much for the gallows humor other agents use to calm their nerves, and it feels especially wrong in Innsmouth. Perhaps one could joke about rifling through the pockets of some mobster choking to death on his own blood, but about this? Too nightmarish. Better not to think about what it is they are doing, better not to talk, better to pretend none of it exists. At least Boyle's hands aren't shaking any more like on their first mission when Fred explained to him the reason why they should park on the outer road and walk into town. At least Boyle’s not asking him anymore about the previous year's raids and what Fred saw and did in them. At least he no longer questions their orders to monitor the missing persons reports of the area and destroy or hide any evidence that would lead local police to Innsmouth.

A body can get used to anything, Fred thinks, remembering the old Irish saying his mother had been so fond of. Even a hanging.

Even to Innsmouth, he adds.


***

A few weeks later, Fred Mathis is home on his day off. As he does every morning at the same time, he retrieves the newspaper from his front porch. Though he usually waits to sit at the kitchen table with his toast and coffee before beginning to read any part of it, the loud front-page headline this particular morning makes him freeze mid-step at his front door.

There will be no hiding this one, he thinks.

No, there’s no hiding the disappearance of Mrs. Henry Rothschild, better known by her famous maiden name, Marisol Koenkamp. You don’t just file away the missing person’s report that banking tycoon Henry Rothschild calls in, or stop him from holding a press conference offering 250 grand for the safe return of his wife, no questions asked. There’s no paying off newspaper editors when faced with something this juicy.



The corners of Fred’s mouth turn upwards in a strange facsimile of a smile. No, these kinds of things tend to take on a momentum of their own, he thinks. Soon, the entire nation will be rapt with gleefully morbid concern for Marisol Koenkamp, acclaimed stage and silent film star, the toast of New York and Hollywood, newly married to the richest man in the U.S.A.

Sure enough, the next morning, the beleaguered and understaffed Bureau office is crawling with G-men from Washington, D.C.. Henry Rothschild has influence everywhere, and his hometown New York City mayor blusters in, demanding a full investigation and help and resources for the local police force. He is trailed by a nervous Arkham city mayor, who parrots everything he says. Mobs of reporters block the entrances. Huge rings stain the armpits of the thin dress shirt that Fred’s bureau chief wears as he scurries around. A telegram arrives from J. Edgar Hoover announcing he is on his way. Soon, everyone is whispering that Rothschild has been tipped off to the possibility of foul play at Innsmouth and the cover-ups of the deaths.

The whole sordid mess at that squalid seaport has officially blown up.

Look off to one side of this fury and you will see crumple-suited Fred Mathis, contemplating the scene. Boyle sits next to him on Fred’s desk, barely able to contain his happiness when Fred explains to him that they will be making no more trips to Innsmouth.

“So Rothschild knows about Innsmouth now?” Boyle asks in a low voice.

“That’s the rumor.”

“Whoo-boy! This is going to get good.” Boyle jumps jauntily from the desk.

“I’d watch it, kid.”

“What?”

“Look, who knows how this is going to turn, or what’s next. I’m on my way out, but you’re just starting here. You were on these cover-up missions. Just watch it. Get invisible. Don’t run your mouth.”

Boyle stares at Fred for a moment. “Does it ever ... I mean... does it …” his voice trails off. “Alright, yeah thanks,” he says quickly and walks back to his own desk.

Look closer now at Fred Mathis.


Watch as he turns his back to the fray and ruckus of the bureau office and sits at his desk. Watch how he opens the right-hand drawer and removes a small flask. Watch his hand as he takes a quick swig, how it shakes just a little. For the first time since the Innsmouth raids, which have become inexorably linked in his head with the last, dying days of Adeline, Fred Mathis is afraid.

***

Adeline had loved the theater, loved movies. Before she fell ill, they had seen each of Marisol Koenkamp’s films together. All of her roles jumble together in Fred’s mind: Damsel in distress. Cleopatra. Dancing girl ravished by Rudolph Valentino. Peasant, Queen, Gypsy. Always with those big, silent eyes larger than life on the screen.


Now, at night in the vast sea of his retirement—long after the military dynamites what’s left of the town, long after the independent congressional hearings on Innsmouth fizzle out with no answers, long after details and speculation of Marisol Koenkamp’s gruesome end and the calls for justice by families of the Innsmouth missing drop off the pages of the newspapers, long after the attention of the nation shifts from this strange, incomprehensible story to the end of Prohibition and the economy's nosedive—Fred is haunted by dreams in which he is witness to the actress' last moments alive.

He watches as she gets out of her car. She stands and thinks what to do, leaving her handbag and coat on the seat. It is raining and muggy. Headstrong and confident enough to be driving alone at night in the first place, she is at this point merely annoyed at her bad luck at getting hopelessly lost on those dark backroads.




He watches as she walks to a store that is strangely illuminated yet abandoned, calling out “Is someone there?” He tries to yell to her, to warn her, but chokes on his tongue, managing only a soft croak.



He watches her face deform into a mask of terror when she first sees the Thing coming out of the water.



He watches as she steps backward and turns, twisting her ankle and falling into the mud. She is crawling, whimpering, unable even to scream. He screams for her, impotent, unable to move--it is as if the earth had a subterranean pull that he is too weak to fight. Behind her the Thing steps closer, making its inhuman sounds.


Sometimes he wakes at that point, sweating and shaking. But on unlucky nights a final scene awaits him in his nightmares:

She is in the Thing’s clawed grasp in the moments before it kills her. Her naked body is a sickly greenish-white, vulnerable and fragile. She is frozen in terror and looking straight at Fred.



She sees me, he realizes with a shock. He is not invisible. He cannot hide.




***

Notes & Credits:

The sim is, of course, Innsmouth. It's amazingly well done and fun to explore. Play around with your environment editor to get some spooky atmospherics. These photos were taken with the Emerald preset "fin de siecle."

After visiting the sim I decided to read Lovecraft's "The Shadow Over Innsmouth." More than anything, the mention--right at the beginning of the story--of the "raids of the winter of '27-'28" caught my attention. Who were these agents that went on the raid to rid Innsmouth of its monsters? What's their story? What happened to the town after that? What happens when a good man follows orders that are immoral, unethical, corrupt? Enter Fred Mathis, who I grew quite fond of while writing this story. Poor bastard.

Fred's suit and shoes are from Doc's Men's Wear. His hat is from Casa Cheerno. His shape and skin are from an amazing little shop called MB Skins, where you can get realistic, older, rough-around-the-edges skins and shapes for your avatar. I can't remember where I found the gun but it was created by Jasperella Forcella. It's scripted and comes with a holster.

Marisol's dress and hair in the first black & white photo are from Sonatta Morales, one of my favorite places to shop. I want everything in her delicious store.

Marisol's "Cleopatra dress" (Flower Isis) in the second black & white is an oldie but goodie from Vindi Vindaloo. I'm so glad she's back and creating new stuff. A testament to her talent is the fact that you can still wear the stuff she made in 2005 and it won't scream "I am a one-dimensional, non-textured pixel dress from 2005!" It looks better than much of the stuff being made in now. What I love about this dress in particular is its two dimensions: it is a 1920s art-deco style interpretation of Ancient Egyptian goddess/pharaoh wear.

Marisol is wearing one of my favorite, most versatile hairdos in that photo, milonga from le salon. I've had it for ages and unfortunately, I don't have a landmark for it and can't find it on search.

Finally, in the nightmare photos, Marisol is wearing Doris red dress from Ivalde. Her hair is Myrna from Ingenue. Marisol's skin in the old black & white photos is Marla from Milk Motion. In the nightmare sequence, she is wearing Noble Leisurely from Vita's Boudoir.



Saturday, October 23, 2010

Divine Astronomy





Orion

Far back when I went zig-zagging
through tamarack pastures
you were my genius, you
my cast-iron Viking, my helmed
lion-heart king in prison.
Years later now you're young

my fierce half-brother, staring
down from that simplified west
your breast open, your belt dragged down
by an oldfashioned thing, a sword
the last bravado you won't give over
though it weighs you down as you stride

and the stars in it are dim
and maybe have stopped burning.
But you burn, and I know it;
as I throw back my head to take you in
an old transfusion happens again:
divine astronomy is nothing to it.

Indoors I bruise and blunder,
break faith, leave ill enough
alone, a dead child born in the dark.
Night cracks up over the chimney,
pieces of time, frozen geodes
come showering down in the grate.

A man reaches behind my eyes
and finds them empty
a woman's head turns away
from my head in the mirror
children are dying my death
and eating crumbs of my life.

Pity is not your forte.
Calmly you ache up there
pinned aloft in your crow's nest,
my speechless pirate!
You take it all for granted
and when I look you back

it's with a starlike eye
shooting its cold and egotistical spear
where it can do least damage.
Breathe deep! No hurt, no pardon
out here in the cold with you
you with your back to the wall.


--Adrienne Rich



Sunday, October 10, 2010

mannequin


I think my favorite part of Lit Crawl - SF last night was finding this amazing mannequin at an antiques/second-hand store on Valencia street.


The store owner (I regretfully did not catch the name of the shop) said she's from the 30s. They don't make mannequin faces like this any more:


Her realistic glass eyes and unique, rather prominent nose make her look spookily alive, even as chipped and old as she is. I love her placid expression, as if she were politely listening to some painfully boring fellow at a dinner party. She is of course too well bred to show any exasperation.

I've always found mannequins to be thrillingly creepy and I think some credit must be given to an old Twilight Zone episode called "The After Hours" I watched in rerun as a kid. I've remembered vague bits and pieces of it all these years after seeing it that one time. I just searched on YouTube and found it:






Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tree hair blown into the shape of the wind


































Credits/Notes:

Myrtus gown from Ephemera Designs.
Freebie tree hair from Curious Kitties (Hair comes with flowers).
Floating butterflies from Sleeps with Butterflies dress, [Gauze].
Skin is Noble Leisurely from Vita's Boudoir.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

...





I love Klimt. Just look at this painting -- I hadn't seen it until recently, too happily entranced by his golden gemoetrical shapes in paintings like "The Kiss" and "The Tree of Life" to look at more of his work. Called "Mermaids (Whitefish)," it marries terror and beauty perfectly; it is surreal and delicious. Love. Love. Love.



I sometimes find myself wishing I had studied Art History in college (or that I had read up on it a bit more on my own, at a tenderer age than this), but then I think, no, being an autodidact of art right now is too much fun. Everything is new and exciting, even when it's old hat to everyone else.

My friend Georges has turned me on to Tumblr blogs (they're not really all Tumblrs, but all in that same style--photocentric, completely visual, few, if any, words, and running the gamut from the beautiful and sublime, to the sexual and exquisitely base, to the horrific and strange). I have become completely addicted to these photo blogs. Utter candy for the eye (and visual bracers/shockers, sometimes, too), all the blogs, no matter the theme, follow the same rule: these are collections of images that for some reason, the creator of the blog found aesthetically interesting/pleasing--whether safely beautiful, strange, or completely taboo. Here are some of my recent favorite finds, and the source links so you can start following some of these wonderful blogs yourself.



Source (originally from this flickr gallery by Fredrick Holm.)

(For some reason I can't link to it properly, but the photo is actually from Jane Aldridge's other blog, linked on Sea of Shoes.)


As you can see from the above, my natural tastes run squarely in the safely beautiful to pleasantly strange range ... what I find to be a challenge in some of these blogs is that right after a string of beautiful/comfortingly interesting pictures there will be a shockingly grotesque one. When a photo of a homicide or bomb scene, or something equally horrible, is given the same weight and space as the sublimely beautiful picture that preceded it (and none of them are given any context or judged in any way), I am challenged to look at its subject matter differently, to not analyze content or create a backstory, but to look at it in a purely visual fashion--hotel room, crimson pools underneath matted hair, staring mouths and eyes, awkwardly spread legs, messy bed, dim light, the overflowing ashtray--and find beauty in that. It feels wrong and though I instinctively recoil, I also learn to stare this gore, this death, straight in its raw face and think, "ah, there's the horrible beauty, right there." As one of those people who not only cannot watch horror movies, but who can't watch commercials for horror movies or even hear people talk about horror movies, this has been a darkly thrilling experience for me.

(Please note that the sources I give you for the three photos above do not have grotesquely violent images in them... they are what you might call PG-13 blogs ... sources given in those blogs, however, might lead to others with much more graphic imagery.)

Oh, wait... this is a Second Life blog, isn't it? I almost forgot, well ... hmmmm, here's Marisol, camouflaging herself into a magnolia tree with her whimsical Sugar Magnolia dress from Vita's Boudoir:



In my list of things that keep me coming back to SL, painfully wistful sunsets and sunrises take third and fourth place respectively, after Art and Friends. I love when I'm at my virtual home and the sunset or sunrise happens naturally (and not because I'm taking photos and manipulating the lighting). It feels special every time.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Cubist remix



By accident I came across a Photoshop filter that can make your picture look kind of like a Cubist painting. I couldn't resist attempting a Cubist treatment of my cascading cube dress from last post:



I especially love the face on the second picture. It reminds me of 1930s/40s propaganda art & sculpture:



Or a reductive treatment of one of Tamara de Lempicka's faces:



Friday, August 13, 2010

...



I am this naked
mineral:
a subterranean echo:
I am happy to have come from so far away,
from such earth.
I am last, minimally
made guts, body, hands
that broke away patternless
from mother rock,
without hope of enduring,
decided, a transitory human,
destined to live
and shed my leaves.



Ah that destiny--
to live on in the darkness
of one's own being--granite without a statue,
pure matter, irreducible, cold:
I was stone, dark stone
and the separation was violent,
a wound of faraway birth:
I want to return to that sureness,
to the core refuge, to the womb
of the stone mother
from where I do not know how or when
I was extracted to live in pieces.






***
poem: XXIII, from Heaven Stones by Pablo Neruda. Translated by Maria Jacketti.

dress: Blurred Cascade by (epoque) (currently closed for renovations...)
hair: XFE275 hair black by booN
skin Gemini Sullied Skin by Home of Sanu

I bought the dress and skin not at the creators' stores, but here.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

High Dive



She finds herself at the Pavilion again,
its mildew-creased stone now cracked
porous and rough.
I am a blind starfish, she thinks, with
scruffed-bumpy knees, with
wrinkled, burrowing hands.




And because she is dreaming,
this translucent connection is a sigh
that cannot hold its form for long. A meaning
that come morning, will be slack fishing lines, floating
empty hooks.




But now,
in the silent space,
in the delicate stillness,
in the sunset's wilted flame,
before the startled splash of green-gold arcs
before the parabolas of dappled-droplet light refractions
before the miniature crashes of chlorine waves
there is the velvet-coal sky,
there is a fragile orbit,
an invisible trellis
that holds.




And because she is dreaming,
this landscape overflows
with the magnetic interdependence of
disparate things, and even her inclined and solitary heart
finds its place.




***

Credits & Notes:

Marisol is at an old, abandoned art deco pool called Sunset Pavilion that Megg Demina has built behind her Chapeau tres Mignon store. I love "discovering" little corners of the metaverse like this. Marisol is wearing Summer Playsuit-Blossom, which is one of the vintage bathing suits you can buy at Sunset Pavilion. Megg has strewn free gifts about, including water wings for the pool and gold hoop earrings!

Here's a better look at the suit (taken at Marisol's house). I just love the pattern:



Marisol's hair is .:[ Tiny Bird ]:. Into My Arms - Hazelnut. The feet are J's flipflap & barefoot. Skin is Blondes Bimbo by Vita's Boudoir. The poem is mine.




Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My mermaid can kick your mermaid's ass ... fin


If there were such things as mermaids, do you really think they'd look like Barbies with tail fins?

I don't.

I think their skin would be a rich emerald green--necessary camouflage in the murky depths. Their scaled half would be amphibious and strange, with pearly crevices and an algae-like fin.







Do you think they'd have long, flowing blonde hair?

I don't.

I think they'd be born bald, and their "hair" would eventually accumulate by adulthood--a tangle of seaweed and string, fishing poles and tentacles, horn-like coral and barnacles encrusted to their scalps, and an old brooch or two found at the bottom of the sea.









Terrifying and beautiful, my mermaids would wear schools of fish like skirts.






They'd swim with sharks.











And even in the darkest, deepest sea depths, they'd glow.










Credits/Notes:

  • Sim: Dive World South. Simulate 50-foot dives in a fantastical underwater environment. Scuba gear is available to purchase at the sim. While I was shooting, some scuba divers came into view then zipped off quickly. I think I frightened them.


  • Skin: Cabal: Wisp-Dagon by House of Ruin. Ruina Kessel makes beautiful fantasy skins... they're absolutely luminous as you can see from this blog post.

  • Eyes: Wisp eyes (worn without prim overlays) by House of Ruin. When you put in the prim overlays, they look like mechanical doll eyes!


  • Mermaid fin: SPLASH Mermaid Set KelpGreen by *Street Dermatology*. I was looking for a very scaly, fishy looking mermaid fin (no multicolored flowing silks and chiffons, please) and was pleasantly surprised at what I found at Akila Rondelstein's shop.

  • School of fish skirt, bubbles and green flowy bits: parts of Okeanos - maritime gown by Grim Bros.

  • Color inspiration: